Every Ferengi business transaction is governed by the Rules of Acquisition to insure a fair and honest deal for all parties concerned. Well, most of them anyway.

The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

Rule of Acquisition #59: Free advice is seldom cheap.

Rule of Acquisition #22: A wise man can hear profit in the wind.

Rule of Acquisition #8: Small print leads to large risk.

Rule of Acquisition #10: Greed is eternal.

Rule of Acquisition #62: The riskier the road, the greater the profit.

Rule of Acquisition #285: No good deed ever goes unpunished.

Rule of Acquisition #214: Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.

Rule of Acquisition #9: Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.

Rule of Acquisition #74: Knowledge equals profit.

Rule of Acquisition: A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.

Rule of Acquisition #23: Nothing is more important than your health...except for your money.

Rule of Acquisition #34: War is good for business.

Rule of Acquisition #35: Peace is good for business.

Rule of Acquisition #57: Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.

Rule of Acquisition #6: Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.

Rule of Acquisition #18: A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.

Rule of Acquisition #33: It never hurts to suck up to the boss.

Rule of Acquisition #3: Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.

Rule of Acquisition #21: Never place friendship above profit.

Rule of Acquisition #229: Latinum lasts longer than lust.

Rule of Acquisition #76: Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

Rule of Acquisition #1: Once you have their money, you never give it back.

If you don't plan on being a waiter forever, you've got to know all the Rules and the various commentaries as well.

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The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

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